Just do the next right thing.
Ever wonder why some people are able to make drastic changes or shifts in their lives, while others only just think about it? Is it luck? Is it privilege? Is it personality? According to the Beckhard-Harris Change Model, it’s math: D x V x F > R
The model specifies that individuals change when.
There is DISSATISFACTION (D) with the current state (of whatever the focus of change might be), and
There is a clear and shared VISION (V) of a preferred future, and
There is an acceptable FIRST STEPS (F) Roadmap to achieving the Vision, and
The product of D x V x F is greater than the existing RESISTANCE to change among those whose support is required for successful implementation.
For those of you who have been following along on my journey (all 2 previous blog posts), you’ve now put together that we have established DISSATISFACTION, and VISION, which puts us now in stage 3: FIRST STEPS. But where the hell do you start? There are so many things to consider. How would we earn money? Where would we live? How could we own a home in a country where we have no credit history? Would we need to take a step back lifestyle wise? Would we be even willing to do that?
These questions had me shutting down the idea before we even asked a single question. There would be too much RESISTANCE to this plan and we had a good thing going where we were. But, that didn’t mean that we couldn’t be curious. In my mind, the immigration process alone could take anywhere from 18-24 months. So risk free! We could just start seeing what that would look like without disrupting our lives in the near future. No decisions. Just sheer curiosity.
FIRST ACTIONABALE NEXT STEP. Shan gave me the contact information for an immigration lawyer that she knew helped others transition to the US. If Shared Entertainment (owned by Shan and Jared) could sponsor my work Visa, then we could make it work. I pulled together the paperwork, detailed out a job description and updated my resume. The result….dead end. I had a better chance of transitioning to the US as an IT Operations consultant or work for AT&T than I had working in the media industry. Once again, that lack of experience was back to bite me in the ass! No one cared about my University Degree or my previous experience in the industry. That was 15 years ago…what have you done lately?
I cried a very defeated cry. I felt like I had failed once again to move in the direction of my goals. Feeling more and more helpless in moving away from this Senior IT Operations Leader title that seemed to be branded on my skin. RESISTANCE.. That external resistance only increased my internal resistance by the name of acceptance and complacency. “Do you know how fortunate you are to be a recognized female leader in IT?”, a friend once told me. “Don’t you realize how much money you could make?” In other words, he was telling me what I had been telling myself all these years when that whisper to do something different would creep into my head. But no…this time it felt different. This time I was actually taking action and that made my goals feel closer. I wasn’t ready to sew up the blue blazer straight jacket. Not yet anyways.
It’s not all doom and gloom, because we were smart enough not to put all of our hope eggs into an “unlikely to succeed” basket. In parallel with my discovery with the immigration lawyer, Chris too was asking some casual questions within his organization. We were both a little dumbfounded when he was met with nothing but support. Apparently, due to his strong performance and trajectory in the organization, his company was more than willing to accommodate this request, but ultimately he would need to prove his case. After long days of work he continued to work through the nights in order to build the business case for relocation approval. He submitted, and we waited….and waited…and waited. I mean, it seemed promising, but there was still nothing promised on paper.
While the waiting was happening, the house market was heating up fast with a threat to cool at any moment. We looked around and increasingly felt the pressure to sell. Feeling like every week that passed by was another $100K that we would be missing out on. But there was so much that we still hadn’t figured out.
After many back and forth conversations, we knew that we couldn’t afford to sit and wait for all the ducks to be in a row in order to act. We just had to keep doing THE NEXT RIGHT THING toward our goal and have faith that it would all work out. If not one way, then we would figure out another. The house went up for sale, and then Chris’ business case was approved shortly thereafter. “When will you be ready to leave?” they said.
What??? How did 18-24 months become NOW? Suddenly, there’s no turning back! WTF did we just do??