Holy Shit! I Just Quit My Job!
11 years! Six figure salary plus bonus! A full pension! Benefits! Shares! Done! I walked away. FAK!
Over the years I would listen to public speakers and podcasters talking about how they left their six figure corporate gig to pursue their passion. I wondered if that would ever be me. I mean…I wanted it to be me, but those golden handcuffs were just a little too tight. A little too shiny to take off. I almost wished that I was making less than half of my salary because replacing it with a passion gig would seem more achievable.
So there I was last week, with the letter drafted and saved on my desktop. I waited about an hour before I dragged the letter into an email…held my breath and hit send. It felt….well, anti-climactic actually. Maybe it’s this whole “remote” working situation that took the drama out of the resignation. Or perhaps it’s because I’ve been leaving warning signs for the last few months letting people know I’m onto something bigger. More likely it’s because for the first time in months since we made the decision to pick up and relocate to Los Angeles, I truly wasn’t scared anymore.
The decision to start over felt like a very slow moving glacier. We didn’t wait for all the pieces to come together, we just learned that it was a possibility and then blindly acted as if the rest would just work itself out. Every month there was a new gate to overcome, which brought us just a little bit closer, but didn’t guarantee our passage. It started with Chris’ work saying they would support the transfer. From there it was waiting for the case to be approved. Then it was a matter of selling our house for our ideal price to land the California home of our dreams. After that it was getting approved for a foreign mortgage, getting our name on our dream home, all before we even received the stamp of approval on the Visa application (that was only 3 weeks ago).
Add to this, suddenly, I was in demand with offers from several large corporations who wanted to bring me on board to support their IT operations or delivery strategy. It was as if the Universe was testing me to see if I was truly committed to betting on myself and my family. Tempting me with a shiny new pair of golden handcuffs…and it very much nearly worked.
One of my largest fears of moving to Los Angeles was that we would not be approved for a mortgage that would maintain my family’s Toronto lifestyle. I had visions of us moving into a tiny apartment just outside of LA because that’s all the bank would allow. After all, we didn’t have American credit history, and I would no longer be working as an Executive in a Fortune 500 company. And of course I told myself that this “step back” would be my fault, and I couldn’t ask my family to endure this on my behalf. I mean sure…material things don’t matter. But you tell that to the children of mine who are accustomed to unlimited WiFi, a pool, their own rooms, and a movie theatre inside the house.
“Maybe you just take the corporate job for a year! At least until we get two cars in the driveway. We could get a pool in the new house!”
At the time I was already working full-time at my job, moonlighting for Shared Entertainment, building my own content, which included reading and reviewing a book a week, coaching on weekends, while taking night courses to obtain my Coaching Certification. Top that off with the kids being home 24/7 and I was (still am) stretched thin. Could I really do that for another year? Not to mention the increased workload that comes with a brand new job. Learning new processes, people, and proving myself as if I wasn’t already trying to do that with Shared Ent. and Coaching. But I know I would do it if I had to. If it meant that I wasn’t uprooting my children from the only home and friends they’ve ever known to live a life that was less (materials wise).
APPROVED.
What? Wait….what? Just like that? You mean it’s okay? We are going to be okay? We get the house we wanted? I don’t have to trade in one blue blazer for another?
I looked at Chris with utter disbelief on my face, and as much as he was trying to act entitled to it all…he was just as baffled. It’s so crazy how after all that we have accomplished and all that we have earned, we are so used to things not coming easy or always expecting the worst possible outcome. It’s confusing as shit when someone turns around and just says “Yeah sure!”
I almost feel ashamed to admit it but this journey has been nothing but open doors. Nothing but “yeses.” I am editing myself on the word “ashamed” because there is a reason why we are now getting yeses in life…we are worthy of those yeses (I still have some inner work to do). The downside/upside of “yes” is that you have no excuse to say “no.”
There is no more “no”. There’s only a plan now. Not even a plan B (because making a Plan B just means you haven’t actually made a decision). Only a Plan A. A plan to supplement my income with Shared Entertainment and my own Career Performance Coaching practice. A plan to exceed my income beyond my earning abilities within my existing role.
The golden handcuffs clattered as they fell from my wrists to the floor.